


The Day You Left

by Julie_Teerah_Eterna



Category: Eterna Storia
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Agender Arawn Lug, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Asexual Eliott Scognamiglio, Bisexual Léo Alzavola, Bisexual Yoann Seren, Brotp, End Goal is an OT3, Eterna Famiglia, F/F, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Gayromantic Eliott Scognamiglio, M/M, Multi, New York City, Not Canon Compliant, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Julie Teerah Eterna, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Social Anxiety, Trust Issues, i swear I will make it up with fluff, post Eterna Storia, quite the angst, so many brOTPs, so many trust issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-06-30 14:12:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15753342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julie_Teerah_Eterna/pseuds/Julie_Teerah_Eterna
Summary: They've done it: the Eterna and Neraluce families survived two wars. First they won against the Mare, then managed to survive the war against the Iride, led by Thomas Iride,il Maestro Dei Mortihimself. Nothing worse than losing too many of their friends and comrades during war could happen now.Right?Or a story where Arawn, Léo, Eliott and Yoann moved to New York City to pursue their studies, as far away from Europe as possible. They had to put some distance between them and the land where Jijii disappeared. They all needed to focus on their relationships and lives.And if it could allow them to ignore the painfull wound they suffered since the day she left, well...





	1. The day we wished you were there

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everybody! Okay, you've read the summary (and probably the tags, though I'm doing my best not to spoil you... hence why more tags will be added as chapters are posted) and I know what you're thinking:  
> "you said you were writing fluff!! I don't see no fluff here!!"  
> THERE WILL BE FLUFF AND EVEN ROMANCE AND PINING CHARACTERS I SWEAR!  
> But for it to happen... We've gotta go through a lil' bit' of an emotional roller-coaster ;)  
> BTW: I plan on posting a chapter per week, so stay tunned!
> 
> Some details for those not too familiar with ES's plot:  
> Tenkei = power people have (there will be reminders about it)  
> Eterna = a company led by Jijii, but since the main workers are her friends, it's like a family  
> Neraluce = a company led by Yoru Neraluce (one of Jijii's best friends, the one who taught her the most), also a big family
> 
> Some spots are the story are voluntarily left hazzy and dark... you will have to read to get answers ;)

Léo still perfectly remembered the first time he had been betrayed by the one he had thought he considered family. This fateful day still haunted his every night, shifting his sweetest dreams into the shape of his grimmest nightmares. The very same scene would repeat itself before him, over and over again. And he would stand there, powerless, unable to change what had happened.

Unable to speak a word when she had given up on him and left.

Léo suddenly woke up, hitting the cold tiled floor of the bedroom as he fell from the bed he shared with his lover. The black haired boy chased the tears from his eyes, blinking rapidly, and ran his nails on his chest repeatedly. The darkness of the room took him by surprise, making him unable to control his breathing. His nails dug dipper in his skin and tears pearled once again in his eyes.

He knew he couldn’t be in the Edenworld – the floor beneath him wasn’t a pond of sticky blood but the hard tiles of his bedroom. He knew he couldn’t have traveled back there while sleeping, couldn’t be stuck and lost all alone in the darkest universe known by mankind all over again.

But reason could hardly deal with overwhelming panic.

“Léo?”

The soft whisper of his lover caught his attention. Léo focused on it as if it was a lifeline, accepting the help given by his lover to get back up and in bed. The black haired boy nestled against his lover’s chest and softly sighed, eventually relaxing when two strong arms embraced him.

“I had another nightmare,” Léo mumbled, voice hoarse. “I’m sorry Arawn, it was the same as usual but… but I guess we fell asleep without plugging in the night light, and you know my phobia of the dark…”

“It’s–” Arawn yawned loudly and rubbed their cheek against the top of Léo’s head. “It’s fine, babe. And I told you there was no need to feel sorry. After everything that happened those last years, it’d be weird if you didn’t suffer from recurrent nightmares.”

“And don’t forget my PTSD,” Léo added with a grunt, fighting the shame that was trying to find its way in the mess that his thoughts were. “I know for sure I can’t forget about it.”

“To be honest… we’re both broken. But that’s why the pieces left of us fit so well together.”

Arawn flashed their boyfriend a big sleepy grin, pleased by the hue of red Léo’s face had taken after that last comment. The latter one hid his face in the crook of the other’s neck.

“When did you become so damn cheesy?”

Arawn faked thinking, pursing their lips and drumming their fingers on Léo’s hips. “Probably around the time your ass became even rounder than before?”

A pterodactyl shriek escaped their boyfriend’s lips. That very same boyfriend almost fell from the bed again, face and neck painted with the red of shame. “God damn it, Arawn! You need to stop saying things like that!”

The bickering lasted some more and the conversation slowly died, both lovers cuddling together while lost in their own thoughts. Arawn was glad Léo seemed to feel better and had finally unwound. But now, they were the one feeling their anxiety rise from the depth they had chased it to. Whenever they closed their eyes, them too were assaulted by memories from that day.

None of them could forget it – everything had collapsed all at once.

Almost three years had passed since that fateful day. Arawn was now almost twenty-six year old, and Léo would soon turn twenty-five. The Eterna and Neraluce had defeated the Mare’s group long ago, and had even traveled back in time to win the war against the Iride. They had lost friends along the way – in war, people didn’t die in the opposite camp only. They had mourned their friends, had grown up the harshest way but they had won – they had made it out of Hell alive.

However, Arawn wasn’t an Eterna nor a Neraluce; they hadn’t been on the battlefield nor had they fought at all in this war. But they had been close to her already at that time. Very close.

Arawn still remembered kissing her forehead the day she had left for the war against the Iride – no one had truly believed she would make it back alive. Even Eliott had feared she wouldn’t survive this last war – although he had never told them why he thought that exactly. Arawn still remembered shaking and fighting back tears when they had seen her again and hugged her with all of their strength.

However there was a major difference between what they still remembered, and what they could never forget.

Arawn would never forget the day they had been attacked. It had happened while they were all out for a drink at night, hanging out in the bar Arawn usually only took her to – it had been their ‘secret’ place to drink their sorrow and regrets away. Nonetheless, on that night the whole gang was here and, because they had won two wars in two years, no one had been expecting the attack.

It had occurred to Arawn much, much later, that this attack had been but a distraction. Everyone’s priority had been to secure the place and help the civils run away. Back then, Arawn couldn’t fight – they didn’t know how to and had only learnt recently about their very own Tenkei. Back then, they feared using this power. And to be honest, to this day, they still feared using it. It made them feel monstrous.

Arawn still remembered the smell of gunpowder and the dryness of the air after Jijii had dressed a firewall between them and their new enemies. They still remembered her walking toward the enemies and questioning them, even if Arawn couldn’t hear what was going on because of the noise around them. They still remembered the enemies counterattacking and Léo being grazed by a bullet on his right leg.

What they could never forget however, was the terrifying look of determination on her face right after that. She wasn’t completely turning her back to her friends and Arawn and Léo had clearly been able to still look at her and see the kind of expression she was wearing. Eliott and Yoann hadn’t been far, calling for their best friend and telling her to put a stop to all of this with her fire – they all knew she would have had no problem getting rid off the mercenaries.

None of them had expected things to go wrong.

The determination on their friend’s face had turned into a cold facade, one she usually used when looking at the one who had tortured her. This time, it was how she was looking at her friends, resolution shining in her odd-colored eyes. Arawn could never forget the silence of this moment. It had been as if the whole world had stopped moving, stopped fussing – and they knew the others had felt the same way.

She had mouthed the word ‘sorry’ right before raising a new firewall, this time between her friends and her. The light had been so blinding and the flames so hot they had all closed their eyes or looked away. A second of distraction that had been enough for her to suddenly disappear. The only proof that she had been there were the flames still devastating the street and the corpses of each and every mercenary that had still been alive a few seconds ago.

How could any of them have guessed she would abandon them without any kind of explanation?

How could they ever forget the gleam of hurt shining in her eyes despite the front she had put up?

How could Arawn and Léo ever forget she had left them?

How could they?

_How?_

 

* * *

 

“Babe, put that down please.”

“Oh come on! I’m gonna have an awful week at uni’, lemme get my sweets!”

“No, Léo, you’re not buying five boxes of pop tarts.”

“But–”

“The fact that it’s pink and covered in sprinkles doesn’t change a thing.”

“Well, I will put the boxes back on their shelf if you put down that mountain of crepes you snatched in the snack alley.”

Both lovers glared at each other for a good ten seconds before letting out a sigh and smiling at each other. They both put down most of their snacks, still keeping two boxes of each sugary treat in the shopping cart Léo was pushing. The two lovers enjoyed their usual thursday morning ‘supermarket date’ – it was the only time of the week when they were both free these day, their studies still taking up most of their time. Léo and Arawn had been living together for almost two years and had quickly made up a schedule to spend as much time as possible together. Both enjoyed their mundane, domestic life. After all, even after becoming an Eterna, Léo had always wished to stick to a calm, soothing normal routine. And with Jijii’s sudden disappearance, it had been easier than he had believed to go back to a peaceful life.

Léo shook his head slightly and tried to chase the dark thoughts back to the furthest corner of his mind.

“Babe? I’ll be right back, we forgot to grab some pasta and there’s a promo’!” Arawn cheerfully reminded their boyfriend, giving him a quick peck on the lips and disappearing far in the supermarket alleys.

The dark haired boy smiled tenderly – he had been with Arawn for almost two years and a half, and still felt butterflies in his stomach when his lover kissed him or showed him affection. Léo smirked a little as he kept on pushing the shopping cart in the supermarket – at least he wasn’t ashamed anymore by the fact that he completely and utterly melted when his lover showered him with affection, be it at home or outside.

When Arawn came back, both chatted happily until they heard a familiar voice. They turned around so fast they almost hit each other in the process, their heartbeats speeding up so much they could have sworn their heart was going to burst out of their chests.

“No, we already have two boxes of cereal! We’re not buying another one, young lady.”

Léo blinked quickly and took in the sight before him. Turning her back to them, a mother was arguing with her two young kids. The little girl whined and made puppy eyes but her mother repeated herself one more time and the kid knew she had lost the argument already. Her brother took her hand and both walked away with their mom, her mid-length dark brown hair slightly bouncing with each step she took, chatting on a softer tone with her children.

Arawn grabbed Léo’s hand and squeezed it tightly – so much more so than he would later admit. They were shaking and their breath was still uneven, their silver eyes stuck on the spot the family had been. “I thought… For a second I swear I thought–”

“I know,” Léo cut them harshly, turning back and grabbing the shopping cart with a hand, the other still holding Arawn’s. “Me too. I truly believed that I heard Jijii. I guess we’ve not healed as much as we thought.”

“But that woman’s voice…” Arawn whispered, glancing behind him a few more time until they reached the self checkout station of the supermarket. “Can’t you–”

“ _No_.” Léo hushed, too quickly to hide the panic in his voice. He gulped and felt a knot form in his throat, making it difficult for him to keep on breathing normally. “Please, don’t ask me to… I don’t want to feel disappointed once again when checking that woman’s soul and see it’s not Jijii’s. We both need to get over it – over her disappearance…”

Arawn stared at their boyfriend, silver eyes filled with a multitude of complex feelings they didn’t know how to express through words. They held Léo’s hand tighter one last time as they softly leant their forehead against Léo’s, biting on their lower lip, where their piercing was.

Léo smiled at them and gently cupped their face with his free hand, his love for his lover sparkling in his big brown eyes. He whispered a few words and let go of them, going back to the mundane task of checking out their items before paying for this week’s groceries.

The black haired boy couldn’t allow himself to have the slightest hint of hope; he knew that if he did, it would only hurt him more. Indulging himself in their daily routine was the best way for him to get back on track.

One of Léo’s power was to see people’s soul while Arawn could control darkness – which means they also recognized everyone’s darkness which, unlike what most people thought, was as unique as a soul or fingerprints.

Both had the capacity to recognize Jijii’s very being if they activated their power.

But both knew that this was exactly why she would never come back.

She had left and had never had the intention of returning.


	2. The day we investigated our friends’ weird behavior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trouble in paradise...  
> Or, well, at Starbucks.

Weeks went by, Arawn and Léo sticking to their peaceful routine and spending as much time together as they could despite their busy schedules.

Nevertheless, the weird behaviour of their friends didn’t go unnoticed. Both were used to see Eliott in a bad mood – he did live up to his old high school nickname, ‘Grumpy Crow’ – so it wasn’t much of a surprised when, in January, he had been moodier than ever. They had both thought that it must have been the stress of his new work, a new year starting, the harshness of this year’s winter… Frankly enough, it didn’t take much to put the light brown haired boy in a bad mood.

An angry Yoann, however, was such a rarity none of them had ever witnessed it before.

He barged in the Starbuck Arawn, Léo and Eliott were already in and fell on his chair, mumbling and grumbling. In spite of his posture, arms crossed over his chest in a defensive manner, Eliott tried to soothe his boyfriend. But his calm demeanor wasn’t enough to make him talk. If anything, it only fueled Yoann’s anger.

“Calm down? _Calm down?_ Are you even serious?! There’s no way I’m going to calm down!”

They had all startled the second he had started screaming. Yoann _never_ screamed. Something was definitely wrong and as curious Arawn and Léo were, they also had the feeling that they did not want to witness one of the rare fights Eliott and Yoann had.

“Yoann, please,” Eliott whispered hastily, leaning closer to him and trying to hold his boyfriend’s hand gently. “You need to–”

Yoann yanked his hand away, brown eyes shining with barely contained anger and resentment. “I don’t need anything, thank you. Now, _you_ listen to _me_. Try to say a single word and I’ll grab that stupid pocket knife you always hide in your left shoe and I’ll stab you with it for each word you will have spoken.”

“Aaaaand that’s our cue to leave.” Arawn quickly grabbed their boyfriend’s hand and got up, freezing when Yoann’s cold stare fell on them. They stopped breathing, eyes wide opened and lips tightly locked. The dark haired boy glared at them a few seconds longer and turned back to his boyfriend, snapping at him once more.

“I can’t even believe it happened and you just–”

Arawn and Léo were outside so fast they didn’t even try to hear any more of their conversation. Through the window, the two could see Yoann scream at his boyfriend. They exchanged a glance.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared in my life,” Arawn claimed, deadpanned.

“I must admit that if I were in Eliott’s shoes right now, I would probably fear for my life almost as much as I do when I’m traveling the _Edenworld_.” Léo confirmed, averting his gaze. “Though… Ain’t you curious about why they’re fighting? They never fight. I’ve known them for over a decade and–”

“Don’t.” his lover cut him quickly, pressing their index on his lips. “I’m not dumb enough to let curiosity take over my reason. There’s no way we’re getting involved in this, otherwise we will have to pick a side and we both know I’ll pick Yoann’s and you will chose Eliott’s, which means the four of us will be pouting and yelling. I’m not repeating the _Red Bull incident_. Never again.”

Léo shuddered at the memory. Anything but a repeat of this incident. The four of them had agreed to never talk about it, ever again. Thank you very much but they would rather die than risking to recreate that incident.

“Never again.” their boyfriend emphasised with a nod.

“Good. Let’s go watch a movie or whatever and forget about their unusual fight. As we agreed on, we’re not getting involved.”

 

* * *

 

“We are so getting involved in their mess!”

Alzavola looked up from his accountancy book and glared at his lover, mentally listing all the terrible nicknames he could insult them with during the upcoming month. “Babe, my dear dumb fuck, are you fuckingly fucking serious?”

“Extremely so!” they yelled back, jumping on the sofa and raising their arms over their head. “I’ve had more than enough! You will never guess what happened!”

Léo rolled his eyes and closed his book. He knew Arawn’s overdramatic personality – they were going to ramble for a while, that happened every time something truly bothered them. “Humor me, babe.”

Arawn dropped on the sofa cross-legged, facing their boyfriend. “Okay so, I was just grabbing a coffee at the university with Eliott. Because y’know I was just finishing my shift at the hospital and he’s been working all afternoon because finals are coming soon and he has work to submit since he’s still doing researches while working as a university teacher.”

“Yeah, so far so obvious,” Léo smirked.

“And then! _Then–_ oh my god y’ain’t gonna believe me!”

“Well that’s indeed going to be difficult if you don’t tell me what the fuck happened and keep on rambling like a gossiping grandma.”

Arawn shot him an annoyed glare, but the corners of their lips twitched. “Anyway,” They held up a finger so that Léo wouldn’t interrupt them again. “We were there, getting enough caffeine shots to get a heart attack, when he got a phone call. It was Yoann. They were obviously discussing about what to do tonight and around which hour Eliott would come home… And then Eliott lied to him.”

“He what?!” The black haired boy almost fell from the couch, eyes wide with shock and mouth hanging open. “No way! He would never do that!”

“He did! He hesitated and stuttered and told him he was going to work some more at the university’s library and pull an all-nighter. But he had just told me he was dead tired and needed some rest! And then the conversation went out and they hung up and he asked me – almost _begged_ me – not to tell Yoann he had lied! Then when we went our ways, he didn’t take the road back to university, he went the opposite way from home and left, taking the subway. He never takes the fucking subway!” Their voice highpitched at the end of the sentence, panic written all over their face and their hands tightly closed by their side. Arawn looked down for a second, then up, staring right into their boyfriend’s beautiful chocolate eyes. “I didn’t want to get involved but… That’s too much. First the fight and now Eliott lied to Yoann? I can’t just ignore those red flags. We need to help them before something regretful happens.”

Léo stayed silent for a few minutes, gnawing on his thumbnail worriedly. He didn’t want to think of the worst possible outcome, couldn’t believe for one second that Eliott and Yoann could one day break up. However, even if those two were confirmed soulmates, Léo knew that it didn’t mean that their love story would be a perfect fairy tale, full of pink skies and romantic dates. Being soulmates explained that the two of them were made for each other – that losing each other would be like losing a part of their soul, like suffering from an incurable  wound if they were to be separated. Still, they were but humans. If they didn’t do their best to make their relationship work then it wouldn’t just magically be perfect. They had to solve their problems like any couple, talk about it together, or the outcome would not be the happy ending they hoped for.

“What’s the plan?” he blurted out, running his tongue over his dry lips as he stared at Arawn’s silver eyes.

“We wait some more, until one of them lies, or until the next fight we witness.”

“And then we follow one of them and find out the truth?”

“I was gonna say we trap them both in the room and play good cop/bad cop until they speak the truth but, yeah, laying low until last moment is a nice plan too.” Arawn joked, laying forward to plant a soft kiss on their lover’s lips, making him hum with satisfaction. Léo smirked in the kiss and wrapped his arms around Arawn’s neck, slowly dragging them down on him, lying back on the couch.

“I love your awkward, stupid plans. Mine are always better, sure, but yours make me smile…” he whispered against their lips, running one of his hands in their wavy black and red hair, slightly tugging on it as he bit down on their lower lip. Arawn shuddered and let out a small moan, grabbing Léo’s hips firmly and rising them upward to met theirs while they bit back their lover’s lips playfully. They claimed his mouth once again, with more passion than before, tongue exploring his mouth greedily and hands drawing circles on Léo’s tight waist.

Smirking and panting as they broke the kiss, Léo’s glazed eyes hungrily staring at them, they took their shirt off in one smooth movement, exposing their freckle-covered caramel skin.

“Well, now I do have a few plans in mind that could make you smile a lot more… Those involve the both of us getting rid of those inconvenient clothes we’re wearing and my mouth exploring your skin…~”

 

* * *

 

Weeks passed until Arawn and Léo could execute their plan. On March 16th however, a fight occurred while they were having a movie night at Yoann’s and Eliott’s place.

It hadn’t been pretty; Eliott and Yoann had stepped outside to fight and scream at each other. One second they were all watching _Captain America: Civil War_ , the next one Eliott was asking his boyfriend to stop his snarky commentaries and speak up if he had anything he wanted to say.

The other two had silently watched them go out before running to the door, pressing their ear against it to eavesdrop their conversation.

_“... not going to forgive this!”_

_“Why can’t you just drop it, Yoann?!”_

_“Unlike_ you _I’m not okay with people betraying me left and right!”_

What?

_“It’s unfair saying this…”_

_“... I’m sorry, but that’s the truth. I won’t accept being betrayed like this and then being told an half-assed apology. I want to understand, I want to know why this… why it had to happen. But I’m afraid that even if I do end up understanding, I won’t be able to forget. Nor to forgive.”_

This couldn’t be happening, right?

_“... Is this what you want? How you want it to end?”_

_“No! Eliott, no! I don’t–”_ They heard Yoann muffle a sob, speaking in a softer, but weaker, trembling voice. _“I’m sorry, this is not what I meant… Just… Just, give me time okay? This never happened to me before, and I never thought it would. I don’t think I ever experienced a heartbreak as strong as this one…”_

No no no no no.

A pause.

 _“Yoann… We will have to tell Léo and Arawn. I’ve been into_ _that_ _hotelroom more often than in our own home since January. I’m sure they’ve noticed our behaviour by now…”_

 _“No, no, no!”_ A few hurried steps from one side of the corridor to the other. _“No matter how mad, how betrayed I am… we agreed not to say a thing. Not until… until everything is sorted out.”_

_“They deserve to know–”_

A slap.

_“Eliott Scognamiglio. Don’t you fucking dare use that argument against me right now. I, too, deserved to know right from the beginning. Don’t you dare tell me now that they should know, because that decision is not up to you!”_

A heavy silence followed. Arawn and Léo took it as their cue to go back to the couch, sitting together.

Arawn hid their face in Léo’s chest, arms around his waist and hands tugging on his shirt. Léo had seen the wetness in their silver eyes – he himself had some difficulty restraining his sobs after hearing their friends’ fight. Eliott and Yoann were the couple everyone looked up to, they were the embodiment of a fairy tale story – whatever happened, whatever life threw their way, they always, always, overcame it. Together.

Both Arawn and Léo had seen how perfect they were for each other, even before they officially became a couple. They were the happiest when together and suffered strongly from being separated. Truly, imagining Eliott and Yoann without the other was matter-of-factly painful.

Léo embraced Arawn tighter, nuzzling the top of their head and breathing in their smell with the hope that it would calm him down. “I can’t believe what we just heard…” he whispered, not even trying to hide the tremor shaking his voice.

“I refuse to– I can’t accept that–” Arawn sobbed openly, fat tears staining their boyfriend’s grey shirt. They had never felt the need to hide their tears with Léo or the Eterna – they knew it was healthier to let the pain out rather than keep it for themselve just because grown-ups were not 'supposed' to cry. “Not _them_.”

“I don’t want them to… to stay together if that only hurts them.” Léo blurted out, running his hands up and down his lover’s back. “But I can’t imagine them w-without the other… We need to– We need to find out what’s really going on.”

Arawn barely nodded against him, their hands clenching Léo’s shirt with more strength. They slowly rose up and kissed Léo’s cheek tenderly before lying against him again, quickly wiping the tears from their face. Both lovers took a few deep breath in, trying to unwind and not look like their friends’ possible break-up was affecting them as if they were the ones about to put a stop to their relationship.

Eliott and Yoann stepped back inside of the apartment; their eyes just as red as their friends’. Yoann went straight for the kitchen, a hand plastered on his mouth to muffle the broken wimpers he couldn’t keep down. Eliott stood near the sofa, hugging himself in a defensive demeanor that probably wasn’t even conscious.

“Eliott… What can we do to help?” Arawn asked softly, still resting safely against their boyfriend. Scognamiglio stayed silent for a while, his golden eyes never looking away from the kitchen’s door.

“I think… You should go back home. Sorry we couldn’t finish the movie.”

“Oh El, you don’t have to apologize…” Léo hurriedly told him. He exchanged a glance with his lover and both got up, gathering their things from the living room. “We should leave the two of you together, you sound like you need to talk it out…”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Eliott claimed harshly, voice icy. “Yoann stubbornly refuses to change his mind and so do I. We’re stuck and the more time passes, the less I believe it will get better.”

Arawn and Léo stilled at his words, flabbergasted. Was this really happening? They couldn’t allow this to happen. Eliott didn’t move from his spot as they walked themselves to the door.

“Call us if you need, okay? Same goes for Yoann. We’re here for you, guys.” Arawn whispered as they stood on the doorway, silver eyes searching for any spark of hope on Eliott’s face. Silence was the only answer they received, their friend still staring at the kitchen’s door, lips forming a tight line.

Arawn and Léo closed the door and walked down the stairs of the building, tightly holding hands. One look was enough for them to know what they were going to do; as if they could just step out this easily.

So they waited, sat at the diner restaurant on the other side of the street, and drank coffee until they finally saw Eliott get out of the building, a bag on his shoulder. It was almost dawn and the sky was slowly being switching to warm colors, an orange glow appearing behind the building, on the horizon’s line.

Following him was much easier here than it would have been back in their hometown, in France. It had taken them all a while to get used to New York City’s busy lifestyle, but they had all needed to go and study far from France after Jijii’s disappearance.

Scognamiglio put up the hood of his sweater up and slid his hands in his jeans’ pockets, walking in direction of the subway. Léo and Arawn followed closely, thankful for once that NYC’s street were always so full of people. Both of them had learnt a few years before how to spy on people and follow them – Léo because this was useful to know as a member of the Eterna, and Arawn because… well, ninja classes were a fun hobby.

They ended up in front of a hotel after following their friend for over thirty minutes. They had guessed it was probably where he would go to, but that didn’t make it any easier for them; were they ready to face reality? To face the one Eliott was going to see in that hotel room instead of being at home with his soulmate?

Gulping, Léo grabbed Arawn’s hand and took a decisive step forward, brown eyes shining with resolution. They went straight for the reception and asked for Eliott’s room, lying about having a meeting with him.

“Mr Scognamiglio’s room is the penthouse on the last floor. Take the elevator on your furthest left to access it,” the woman at the reception told them with a bright smile. The two of them nodded stiffly and went to the elevator straight away.

“The penthouse? Really? Is the bitch he’s seeing fucking loaded?” Arawn grumbled, crossing their arms and beating an imaginary rhythm with their right feet, brows furrowed.

“Babe,” Léo scowled, hitting them gently on the arm. “Stop that. We are not going to judge our friend before we know the whole truth.”

The elevator doors opened and they got in, pressing the only available button in it. An annoying tune played as the ride went up.

“I’m afraid of the truth, to be honest.”

“I’d rather face the truth than being blinded by comforting lies.” Léo glanced at Arawn as he spoke his mind, hands shaking in spite of the brave front he was putting on. “And whatever happens, we will face it together.”

“Together,” Arawn repeated, deposing a soft kiss on his lips. “I love you babe, more than anyone else in the world.”

“Love you too, more than anyone else in the goddamn universe.”

One more sweet kiss and the doors were opening with a _ding!_ , leaving them facing a short corridor. A single door, with golden engravings and silver doorknob, faced them.

It took them a while to gather up their courage and finally knock on the door.

“ _... probably Yoann who forgot his car keys in my jacket again_.” they heard Eliott say somewhere in the penthouse, the door appearing to be not as soundproof as it looked.

“ _Where’re they?_ ” another voice called.

Arawn and Léo blinked and exchanged a glance, mouthing the interrogation _'is that a girl?_ ’. This detail was not one they had anticipated – Eliott was asexual and gay romantic. Gay. A.k.a not into women, only men.

Why the hell was he with a woman in a hotel room?

 _"I'm busy packing your new work clothes, can you open the door for him and give him the stupid keys? He’s going to be late for work!_ ” Eliott said – quick steps followed, clearly in the door’s direction, and Léo heard the sound of a coffeemaker being turned on.

Arawn looked at him like a doe on the middle of the road, eyes wide with panic and body petrified with fear. Léo shook his head and hands, conveying his own panic without using a single word. And before any of them could react or flee, the door opened.

A small woman stared back at them, her odd-colored eyes stuck on them, the smile on her lips vanishing as soon as she sees their faces.

Léo felt something heavy compress his guts; a weight he had never expected that made his shoulders slump. By his side, Arawn was studying the woman who had opened the door. No one missed the wetness in their silver eyes. Léo wasn’t surprised – had he not been so gobsmacked, his feeling would probably have overwhelmed him too.

However, he didn’t know what to feel.

Happiness? Relief? Thankfulness?

Or anger? Bitterness? Betrayal?

Before him stood the one who had abandoned them three years ago. Her hair was much shorter – shoulder-length short – and wasn’t tied up like it used to be. The dark brown waves and curls were dyed in red at the ends. She was wearing a fine touch of makeup; simple eyeliner, mascara and red lipstick, her black and blue eyes looking even more stunning than how he remembered them to be.

Jijii was right here in front of them, hand still curled on the round doorknob. She gulped and glared at them, straightening her back. A single word escaped her lips and summed up how their first meeting after years had gone:

“No.”

The door locked right before them, being closed as quickly as this little family reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *flee before you scream at me* :))


	3. The day you came back in our life (we did have to insist a little, though)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All they want is to understand.
> 
> All Jijii wants is a hug and a nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, any text underlined is a link to a music related to the scene you're reading! :)

[“ _No_.”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPDTrbFPoeg)

Léo stayed frozen as the door closed in front of him a few seconds only after finally seeing that one of his best friends was still alive and safe and sound and in the very same city. His brain was overthinking already, a billion questions going through his mind without it being able to settle for a single answer.

How long had Eliott known about her return? Did Yoann know too? Why would they hide her coming back from them? Did they know why she had disappeared?

 _No, not_ ‘disappeared’ _– she abandoned us all, you saw her reaction when she saw us,_ his mind whispered to him, remnant of his alter-ego’s voice echoing his own thoughts. _She doesn’t want us to be part of her life anymore._

Léo couldn’t move, his body and mind stuck on the only conclusion his brain could draw from what he knew: Jijii had left them and betrayed their trust – betrayed them even though she had swore long ago that she would always be there for them, because they were family.

She had broken the one promise he had been sure she would always keep.

She had abandoned her family.

Tears welled up in his eyes, his mouth slightly opening and his hands clenching by his sides. He couldn’t move nor speak.

Which wasn’t Arawn’s case.

They were yelling and banging on the door restlessly, anger burning in their eyes. They kept calling out for Jijii and Eliott, not caring about the bruises blossoming on their hands, still hitting the door with the hope someone would open it again.

“What are you two doing here?”

The confused voice of Yoann stopped Arawn right away. They turned toward him. For a second they looked just as disturbed and lost as he did. Then anger quickly took over again, shoulder squaring as they stomped toward their friend. “ _You!_ How long? How fucking long have you known about Jijii’s return?!”

Yoann’s eyes widened as his mouth shut, guilt and shame written all over his face. However, as he lowered his gaze and answered Arawn’s question, Léo noticed in Yoann’s clenched jaw the same kind of anger Arawn was displaying.

“January. Eliott learnt it first. She showed up at his office without any warning. She only came to meet with me a few days later…”

“Was it when… you had that big fight at Starbuck?” Léo whispered, finally finding in himself the strength to speak out loud.

“Yes, when the two of you ran away as fast as greased lightning.” he bit back coldly, staring at Léo. It took him some time to calm down, breathing in and out slowly. He shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at Arawn and Léo as he spoke on a gentler tone. “Listen, I know exactly what you’re thinking. Trust me.”

“Oh, really? Then–”

“You feel betrayed,” Yoann cut, raising a hand to signal Arawn that their snarky comments weren’t welcomed at the moment. “Hurt, maybe even guilty. You have no idea why she left and why she didn’t contact you when she came back. I feel the same way. That anger, that rage I see in you, Arawn? I’m still full of it myself.”

Léo grabbed the opportunity as it stood before him, taking a step forward. “Help us then. Open that stupid door and let us talk to her if you understand our feelings as well as you’re claiming to!”

Yoann’s brown eyes swiftly looked anywhere but at his friends, jaw clenching harder than earlier. His thoughts were clear, his face and posture betraying them no matter how hard he tried to keep them for himself. He took a step sideway and showed his friends the way out – the elevator’s doors.

“No matter how much I resent her… I can’t let you in if she doesn’t want to see you. She might just disappear again, and who know how long this time?”

Arawn almost growled at him. They brutally punched the wall on their right before stomping to the elevator, smashing the call button repeatedly, impatiently. Yoann lowered his head and tried to hide his shaking hands in the pockets of his jacket.

Léo walked to his lover’s side and ran an arm around their waist, stepping in as soon as the doors opened. However, he held onto the doors and took a last look at Yoann. Léo knew his eyes were red and wet but he couldn’t care less – there was one last question he had to ask.

“Yoann?”

His friend turned around and held his stare, owing him at least this much. “Yeah?”

“Have you forgiven her?”

The tense silence that followed was enough to answer Léo’s question but he didn’t look away for a second, determined to get a response. Arawn looked at him in disbelief, taking a small step back to observe him – this time they were the one unable to vocalize their thoughts. They and Léo were just as angry – only, it wasn't for the same reasons. At all.

A wild fire was burning in Léo’s eyes. Both Arawn and Yoann gulped – they knew not to underestimate Léo’s fury and frustration. Yoann glanced at the door of the penthouse behind him and straightened his posture, staring right back at this friend.

There wasn’t an ounce of doubt in his voice.

“I don’t think I can ever forgive her.”

 

* * *

 

When he heard the door being locked, Eliott understood that something was wrong.

_Good fucking God, why is nothing ever going right in this family?_

He laid down the box he was holding and went to the main room, wondering why Jijii would lock the door if she was just handing Yoann his keys.

“Jijii?”

His voice was barely a whisper when he called for her, eyebrows furrowing at the sight of his friend. She was sitting with her back against the door, hands pressed over her ears and her chin laying on her knees. Her eyes were tightly shut and she was whispering under her breath, vomiting incognizable sentences one after the other at an unimaginable pace. Eliott recognized this stance – rocking back and forth, she was imposing a rhythm to her brain, forcing her body to follow the pace she was setting to keep the worse of her anxiety away.

The loud banging against the door made her jump in surprise and her hands clutched her head tighter, palms pressing against her ears to keep bay of her friends’ screams in the other room. She ran her nails against her skin, drawing out small drops of crimson blood and tainting her fingertips in what used to be her favorite color.

Eliott took a step forward and she stilled – breath caught up in her throat, like a prey noticing a nearby predator. He winced, the corners of his mouth dropping. Eliott could only guess what was going on in her mind. Nevertheless, he had helped her through enough panic attacks to know the kind of things she was thinking about and how to help her. She had her own way of dealing with it and because he had always been her closest friend, he bet he was the only one to know about it – she wasn’t the kind to allow herself to panic in front of her squad.

He knew his priorities right now. Taking a deep breath, he braced himself and walked to her to kneel by her side.

“Jijii,” Eliott said, tone even so it wouldn’t sound like he was taking pity on her. “Get up. You need to move. That’s what you do when you panic, you move to keep your fears away. Another thing you do differently, I guess.”

She didn’t budge, eyes tightly shut and her hands scratching at her skin with more intensity than before. Outside, the banging stopped.

Only to be replaced by a shouting match.

“Those fuckers…” Eliott scowled, moving to grab the doorknob. He was going to tell them off and chase them away for as long as needed. Later, he would make sure that Léo and Arawn would regret spying on him. Those idiots didn’t even understood in how much danger they were putting them all by–

“ _Please,[don’t](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpEILvXQaZM)_ _. Please. Eliott. Please_ …” she but whimpered, voice barely loud enough for him to pick up on the words.

He lowered his gaze and noticed her hands covering his, stopping him from opening the door. Her head still hung low. She was refusing to open her eyes and look at him – that stung. Jijii wasn’t feeling in control enough to believe that she wouldn’t hurt him with her powers. Before, she wouldn’t have hesitated, wouldn’t have feared hurting him nor would she have doubted he could handle her powers slipping because of a panic attack. Now though? He was witnessing just how much stronger she had become, attempting to nip her panic attack in the bud to make sure no one but her would be hurt.

Jijii had always been strong – he had known it since she had proved she could kick his ass when she was six – yet what she had always excelled at was hiding her thoughts and keeping control of her emotions, which called for more strength than just being physically strong. How many time had he seen her smile and laugh and act like a fourteen year old only to find her two hours later locked up in their apartment, legs scratched until she bled and her eyes glazed and dried, emptiness radiating off her?

He squeezed her hands, his heart clutching at the thought of his best friend having to learn to deal with her worst nightmares and anxieties all on her own for the past three years.

Eliott grabbed her shaking hands strongly and brought her up on her feet, linking his fingers with hers. Jijii kept her head down, eyes closed and shoulders hunched up. She looked even smaller this way than she actually was – it was obvious to him that she was ashamed of the weak state she was displaying.

“Get up. Do what you always do. Fight.” Eliott ordered calmly, his golden eyes shining with authority. “I know it’s far from how you wanted your meeting to go. I know you’ve been planning for _months_ how you would announce to our friends that you’re back. That clearly went off the tracks. We could even call that a disaster. But aren’t disasters your specialty?” She let out a small puff, lifting her chin up a little. It wasn’t much, but Eliott would take any kind of progress he could get. He noticed she was focusing on his words and her breathing, forcing herself to adopt a soothing, calm rhythm. “You cause disasters all the time and when you don’t, disasters find you. You have a love-hate relationship with disasters which is why you know better than any of us how to handle them. You weren’t ready yet to meet up with Léo and Arawn, it’s fine. It’s–”

“The hell can it be ‘fine’?” she backtalked, panic making both her voice and hands tremble. Jijii shot her eyes opened and the fear and sadness her stare held almost caused Eliott to step back, his own heart shattering at the sight. Nervously, she lowered her gaze, unable to keep it still, just like she couldn’t help but draw circles on his hands with her thumbs, trying to soothe herself. Her breath was coming in short – fear and anxiety and guilt paralyzing her lungs and brain. “Have you seen their faces? They must hate me… They may even hate you and Yoann because of me! It’s nowhere near f–”

“It’s perfectly fine!” Eliott growled as he let go of one of her hands to cup her face, scarcely rubbing his thumb over the scar disfiguring the right side of her face which ran over her eye and cheek. She hid it less than she used to, the stroke of hair in front of her right eye being more often tuck behind her ear, even when she was out in public spaces. Eliott stared at her odd-colored eyes in wonder – he would never stopped being amazed that she had fought her Tenkei and won. Ever since he had known his Tenkei – his power – he had been told by his _Maestro_ that your Tenkei was yourself, your unconscious manifesting itself as a power. Fighting your power – _yourself_ – usually meant you died. But Jijii had won despite how strong her unconscious was. If your power was considered basic, like invocation, you had almost nothing to fear. If it was a stronger one it could turn against you, like Jijii’s fire. And if it was a rare one, like Eliott’s Time power, there were forced consequences – a heavy price to pay.

Eliott leant down and brushed his lips against Jijii’s forehead. His best friend had gone a long way since he had asked her to be the Chief of the Eterna. Her self-hatred had been the major reason why she couldn’t master her powers as well as the others. She had a strong and a rare power and both Tenkeis used her self-hatred against herself, hurting her over and over again, slowly killing her inside without anyone else being able to intervene.

But she had fought.

And she had won.

It left scars, both on her body and mind. Her eyes’ color changed, stuck to the shade they usually only took when she used her rare Tenkei. One was electric blue, the other pitch black. Iris changing colors was a common consequence of using a rare Tenkei too much.

She squirmed under his hands, unused to receiving this much affection from him. “Eliott?” He tenderly stroke the scar on her face again and she offered him a small smile. She squeezed the hand she was still holding onto and clung onto his sweatshirt with her other one, dragging him closer to press her head against his chest. Eliott hated physical touches, unless it was with her, or Yoann. The fact that he hugged her so often, despite everything that had happened, proved her that he still considered her family. “Have you been worrying over this stupid scar ever since I’ve got it?”

He scrunched up his nose and laid his head over hers, embracing her with one arm to mirror her pose. “I always will. 'Should’ve protected you. I’m your right arm. Your soulmate. Your family.”

“It’s just a scar,” she huffed with a smile, eventually feeling tension leaving her shoulders. “I thought I could trust _her_ and when I turned to make sure she was safe and sound, she stabbed me in the eye. I lost my right vision, no big deal. Should have been expecting this outcome.”

“ _You were **sixteen**. _ ” Eliott insisted. She felt the vibrations in his chest as he growled and held her tighter, protective. Jijii shrugged.

“And still, it wasn’t the first time someone I considered family betrayed and stabbed me.”

This time, they stayed silent. They listened to each other’s heartbeat and breathing to keep their calm, the waves of anxiety coming back and forth in their mind at a rhythm steady enough for them not to drown in it.

A door unlocked, opened, and was closed again.

Jijii stiffened in her best friend’s arms, almost forgetting to breathe. The yelling had stopped a while ago however that didn’t make the situation any easier – the footstep she was hearing she could recognize any time.

Yoann.

“So, you really did forget your keys in the pocket of my jacket?”

She exhaled silently and closed her eyes, thankful for Eliott’s understanding.

“I did.”

Aouch – Yoann’s voice was colder than the goddamn iceberg the Titanic had collided into.

_Well, fuck._

“I’m sorry for the mess, Yoann,” Jijii spoke almost carefully, stepping away from Eliott and looking at Yoann before she walked in the direction of the small kitchen, where she had been packing stuffs she refused to let the boys see. “I didn’t envisage the possibility that they could find me there, I should have been more cautious. I really am sorry.”

“Yeah, you always say you are.” he bit back with a snort, a bitter smile stretching his lips.

That only hurt more.

_You reap what you sow, Jijii._

“This kind of smile doesn’t suit you, Yoann. You look better with that happy-go-lucky or puppy-like smile.” she offered as she turned her back to them to grab something, hiding the tremble of her hands.

“This is the only smile I will let you see, now.”

“Yoann–”

“Shut up, Eliott. I love you but I swear that if you try to ease any kind of tension between us I will walk out that door and I’m not sure I will be back. Let us sort that out by ourselves.”

Eliott’s eyes widened in fear – Jijii didn’t like Yoann saying threats like this one, but part of her also knew it wasn’t an actual threat, just a statement. Eliott nodded and took a few step back to sit on a stool.

“I know I say I’m sorry a lot, and I know it’s not enough to prove you just how much I am,” Jijii turned around and leant against the kitchen’s bar, arms crossed over her chest, staring right into Yoann’s eyes. “What I’m doing there,” She waved an arm around vaguely, indicating all the cardboxes in the living room of the penthouse. “What I’m doing here is proving you I hope we can move on. I’m not asking you to forget a thing, if I wanted you to, I could make you forget with my powers. But what I truly want is to regain your trust, and doing that? Forcing you to forget what I did because it would make the situation easier?” She shook her head and embraced herself with more strength, her gaze dropping on the floor. “It wouldn’t be fair. It wouldn’t be trust since it would be a faked relationship. I can’t do that to you.”

“But abandon Eliott and I, that you could do?”

It felt like another stab in the heart. Jijii didn’t budge, biting on her lower lip and focusing on her breathing to not lose her cool.

“You could have told us,” Yoann started again, striding to her, brows knitted and brown eyes sending daggers. “You didn’t have to keep it a secret. You could have kept it a secret from anyone but us. For God’s sake, Eliott and I are your soulmates! Your platonic soulmates, but soulmates nonetheless! I trusted _you_ – trusted you would ask us for help when you needed it and not flee to solve it all on your own! You disappeared on us without giving us the slightest explanation. Even now I still don’t know _why_ you left! Do you realize how much it hurts?! You betrayed us. You betrayed me. You’re my sister even if we don’t share blood. Had I been in your situation, you know I would have asked for your help. I knew you were here for me, and it’s like you didn’t want to believe we were there for you. After everything we’ve been through together, the pain, the loss, the wars–”

“And this is exactly why I couldn’t ask _you_!” Jijii shouted back, finally losing her cool. Three will-o’-the-wisps sparkled around her and danced in the air, their color stabilizing to a faint orange as her tone grew more even, no doubt nor fear left in it. She raised her chin and defied him, adopting a defensive stance. “Your Soul is the embodiment of Light, Yoann. Mine is pure Darkness. You can’t expect me to act exactly how you would. I deal with how differently you react and I accept it. However, you need to do the same. Unlike you, I am not allowed – and can’t allow myself – to go on and spread secrets only I am to know about. I’m the secret keeper, literally. Or shall I remind you my title in the Shiten Organization is _la guardiana dei segreti_? My very own Soul, or at least what’s left of that rotten broken shell, is bound to that job. I’m to keep secrets even if my life is on the line. And back then–”

Jijii abruptly stopped, clenching her teeth and looking away. The will-o’-the-wisps grew larger and darker, hue turning bloody red. Yoann’s brows furrowed further and worry flashed in his brown eyes for a second. He felt chills run down his spine and gulped. Yoann crossed his arms before him as Jijii laid hers down, resting by her sides stiffly. She sent him one last glare.

“Back then, my life wasn’t the only one on the line. I hoped you would have understood that, but it looks like I haven’t been protective and self-destructive enough around you all to have you think that, maybe, it wasn’t just a selfish, imprudent decision.”

Yoann tried to glare at her. He failed, guilt gnawing at his insides – he had quickly casted away the possibility that Jijii had been protecting them, since they had all agreed long ago that they didn’t need to sacrifice themselves for each others.

“Grab your keys, you’re gonna be late for work.” was all she added before turning and stepping further away in the penthouse, where the boys weren’t allowed at all.

 

* * *

 

“So, what you’re telling us is that we have to trust you? Even if you are just trusting her despite not having any intel about what’s awaiting us inside of this building?”

“Léo. Do you want to have an actual talk with her or are you ready to give up this opportunity?” Eliott stared at him, standing in front of their little squad.

Léo scrunched up his nose at that and waited until Eliott turned around to silently imitate him, like a five year old would do, sinking his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

He couldn’t help it – he had a nasty gut feeling that made him feel wary and on guard. Almost a month had passed without them being allowed to meet with Jijii – it was already April 11th and Arawn and him were starting their Spring Break.

Léo frowned and pouted as he listened to Eliott’s explanations, as he entered the digicode to open the main door of the old building. The black haired boy glanced upward, his chocolate eyes scanning the facade with uneasiness.

“Jijii came back in January but she’s settled here a few weeks ago only. She still worked for the Agence Eterna even if none of us knew – she’s still the Head of it, hence why she could keep her activities an absolute secret. With the money she has, she decided to buy a few buildings. So the one in front of you and the three adjacents to it? It’s hers, as well as the small parc hidden by the four buildings.” Eliott claimed as he ran a hand through his light brown hair after stepping in the main hall.

Inside it still looked like any other building you could find in Queens – _of course Jijii had settled in Queens when coming to NYC, that nerd_ – but once they stepped in the elevator, they noticed how much more modern it was. Arawn and Yoann both looked like they had been expecting anything but that. The rumble of the elevator was barely audible and the ride was fast but smooth – so smooth that Léo almost jumped in surprise when the door opened.

“This is the last floor of the main building so, obviously, it’s Jijii’s,” Eliott shrugged and stepped in first, going straight for the most comfortable loveseat in the living room before them, falling onto it and sighing in relief. The other three raised an eyebrow at that.

“It’s his favorite seat. He called dibs on it when he helped me move everything in here.” a smaller voice called from somewhere on their left.

Jijii stepped in, a small smile on her lips and her shorter hair falling messily above her shoulders. She was wearing simple clothes; brown high waisted shorts, a black tank top and a red and black plaid shirt that was obviously too big for her since it went down to her knees. The fact that she was barefoot just reminded them all that she was in a place she dimmed safe and hers – or she would be wearing comfortable shoes to run away or fight at the slightest hint of danger.

She gulped and bit her lips, taking a long breath before walking to Eliott’s side, inviting them to come and seat on the sofas in front of the big TV. The wall opposed to the main door was made of glass – they could see anything happening outside, but it was tainted so that people outside couldn’t see what was going on in the apartment.

“Uh, before I say anything else–” Jijii hesitated, sitting near Eliott on the loveseat and allowing him to lay his head on her lap. Her hand moved to his hair in a natural way, an old habit she hadn’t got rid of. “I want to thank you all for coming here today. I know if was selfish of me to ask you to wait. Worse, Eliott was the one to tell you in my stead. I will admit it: I wasn’t ready to meet with you yet and I was afraid that if I did, like Yoann you would decide not to see me again unless it was a necessity.”

Eliott closed his eyes but kept silent, Jijii playing with his wavy light brown hair nervously. Léo quickly took a look at Yoann – his friend was still standing up, unlike Arawn and him. Yoann didn’t seem bothered nor ashamed by what she had just exposed to them.

Léo gritted his teeth and breathed in through the nose, attempting to stay civil; for now at least. It wasn’t Yoann’s behaviour that was unnerving him. It was Jijii’s.

He was still terribly angry at her and wanted answers, wanted to know what was going on, not some shitty excuses. He wasn’t like his lover; Arawn had been angry for a few days and had then calmed down. They were similar to Eliott on that point and both acted as if they had forgiven her already, as if having her back was enough and they didn’t need any answer. Léo, however–

“They might have told you already, but this place is mine and I’ve officially moved here. Eliott and Yoann are moving in soon; there’s place for everyone, though the four of you are the only one knowing yet that I’m not on the run anymore. And–”

“Talking about that,” Léo intervened, straightening his back as he leant forward, sat on the couch with Arawn. A very silent and observant Arawn. “Why were you on the run? I don’t give a fuck about your excuses, I want to know why you left. Why you abandoned us. Because I perfectly remember you promising me you would never leave your family. But hey– you did!”

Arawn shot him a glare, taking his hand in theirs and hoping the contact would be soothing. “Babe, please… Maybe we could wait a little before starting the shouting match?”

“It’s okay, Awn– … Arawn.” Jijii coughed a little and looked at them both, hiding behind a smile they knew all too well. None of the two noticed the surprise in her eyes when she heard Arawn call Léo ‘babe’. “I expected those questions. And I intend to answer them. But unlike what happened when you spied on Eliott and followed him to my hotel room, I want to be in control when I tell you. All of you.”

“What do you mean, all of us?” Léo asked, his frown deepening. “Eliott and Yoann know already, right?”

“No we don’t.”

The boy turned to Yoann, whose voice was getting colder and colder as the days passed. Jijii would never get used to him speaking to her with so much resentment in his voice – at least it wasn’t hatred. Not yet.

“I refused to tell them. I refused to tell anyone unless it was an absolute necessity, and seeing that I made it this far with this method, I don’t regret it.”

Léo growled at that.

“You don’t regret abandoning us?”

Jijii was startled but didn’t flinch. She was wearing green contact lenses, hiding the true color of her eyes in order not to cause anyone distress. She held Léo’s gaze, faced all the anger, frustration and sadness he was sending her way just by staring at her. Thereby, they all knew she was being sincere and accepted any reproach they felt like making.

“If I traveled back in time and had to make that choice again, I wouldn’t change a thing to what happened that day.”

And that was it. The last straw.

Léo got up on his feet and his voice dropped an octave, pain deforming the traits of his face. If he didn’t have those stupid feels – if he didn’t still saw her as family – he would have punched her already. However, if he were to do that now, that would just make him feel guilty, not better.

“How can you say that to our faces?! How can you tell us you’d abandon us again if you had the choice?! We searched for you, we worried for you, and it took us so long to accept that you were probably just safe somewhere else, somewhere far from us! The day you left– _the day you left_ –”

His voice broke at the words, pain and sadness overwhelming him and drowning his voice in his sorrows. Arawn, who had stood up as soon as their boyfriend did, gently cradled him against them and whispered sweet words in his ear. Léo groaned and clang to them, nuzzling their chest as he closed his eyes and focused on their voice. He was still having nightmares, was still being haunted by her sudden disappearance. He had never had to deal with someone leaving him. He had seen his friends die, had had to kill people, had had to say goodbye to his grandparents – but no one had ever willingly _left him_ the way she had.

“I would understand it if you never forgave me. However, I called you four here because… Eliott and Yoann are going to live in one of the available apartments in the Second building, the one on the other side of the garden. They,” She bit her lip for a second and shook her head. “Yoann doesn’t want to stay in the same building as me, hence why they will settle in the Second. And I wanted to invite you too, Léo, Arawn, to come live here – in the building of your choice, of course. I want to make things right and even if I could understand you never forgave me, it isn’t the ending I hope for.”

“You want us to… live with you?” Arawn stumbled on their words, their hands freezing on Léo’s back.

“Not exactly _with me_ , but yeah… If you’re willing to. Spend more time together. Win back your trust. We used to live so close to each other, we were always nearby… I hoped we could have that again. It would be a start.”

Arawn felt Léo’s heartbeat hasten and hugged him with more strength, burying their nose in the crook of his neck. They both allowed each other’s smell to calm them down, unwinding in each other’s arms.

A door opened somewhere behind them, on their left side.

Jijii jumped on her feet and left them here, following the corridor next to the open kitchen. Léo finally turned his head and sent an interrogative glance toward Eliott, who shook his head, brows drawn together.

“Eliott? Were there supposed to be other people here?” Yoann asked, distress on his face. His boyfriend came to his side right away and grabbed his hand, summoning his golden dagger in the other one.

“She only told me that we would be there with her,” he whispered, pricking up his ears to try and hear what was going on in the unseen part of the apartment.

“You helped her move in! You didn’t see anyone else around? Ever?” Arawn insisted, more frustrated and worried than actually angry.

“ _No_.” Eliott hissed, clenching his jaw and running all possible scenarios in his mind, making a list.

Hearing Jijii laugh was certainly not on that list.

The four of them froze and opened big eyes – they were all lost and confused, like a bunch of puppies seeing a squirrel for the first time. When Jijii laughed again and other voices joined her. The four of them moved all at once, almost running to get there.

Again, the sight that met them wasn't one they could have imagined. Ever.

_No way._

Jijii was one knee down on the floor, hugging two blond children. One was a little girl and the other a boy, but both had grey eyes and a skin tone slightly darker than Jijii’s.

_No way._

As soon as they noticed the four adults, they gasped and hid behind Jijii, their ridiculously small hands grasping her clothes and holding onto them as if they were lifelines.

_No way._

Jijii’s smile died on her lips and she looked over her shoulder, her green eyes scanning her friends’ expressions.

_No way._

The little girl moved closer and stood on her toes to whisper in Jijii’s ear – but she was too young to murmur low enough so that the others wouldn’t hear.

“ _Mamma, who are the weird people behind you?_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
>  **Maestro** : Master  
>  **la guardiana dei segreti** : the guardian of secrets
> 
> FI-FUCKING-NALLY !  
> Dang this is going to become _so much funnier_ AND fluffier from now on! More explanations to come next week, with a healthy dose of laugh ;)


	4. The day we discovered a side of you we had no idea about

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one really knows what to think of Jijii with kids.  
> Jijii, her, is sure of one thing: her life is a fucking mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, translations are in the end notes!

If Jijii could just go and punch Life in the face, she wouldn’t hesitate for a second.

Really, she wasn’t asking for much; she just wanted to have some control on her life. _Some_. Her meeting with Arawn and Léo had gone so wrong she had thought that them meeting her new family couldn’t be worse than that.

And now, here she was, her kids hiding behind her while her friends were looking as if they were on the verge of fainting.

_Well, fuck, let’s wing it._

“Sweethearts, how about you go grab your plushies and then we’ll eat a snack in the living room?” Jijii crouched down and smiled tenderly, lightly pinching the kids’ cheeks to grab their attention. The little boy observed the four other adults for a little bit longer than his sister until he finally turned to Jijii and nodded, not without hugging her one last time. Jijii couldn’t help the smile blooming on her face as she watched the toddlers run back into their room, happily holding hands. “And put on your slippers too! I don’t want you to get sick!”

She huffed and shrugged, getting back up and forgetting for a mere second that her friends were still here and looking at her with eyes wide as plates. They kind of did look dumb − she had to bit on her lower lip to refrain from smiling again. She was still utterly frustrated and mad at Life from messing up her plans, but she had to admit that the situation was… amusing.

“Jijii? Who was− You− When did you−” Eliott stuttered, moving his hands around as if it could help him gather the words he couldn’t find.

She walked past the four adults in direction of the kitchen, indicating them with a shake of her hand to follow her lead. The situation had taken a wrong turn but it wasn’t a lost cause yet − she had prepared for this, had prepared the informations she would finally be able to share with them.

She stepped into the open kitchen and with a nod pointed at the stools on the other side of the bar, allowing her friends to settle while she reached for coffee in a cupboard and filled the coffee machine with water. She then leant against the bar, sending a quick glance to the corridor on her right − no sound of children running toward them yet.

“So, this is it. The reason I left.” Jijii announced straight away, looking at each of her friends without an ounce of hesitation in her eyes. “I’ve known these kids since forever. I knew their mom when she was pregnant with them and searching for somewhere she could put them up for adoption. She had never wanted kids and she didn’t want for the father to have them either, for… reasons. Long story short, they were put in an orphanage when she died giving birth to them. I was looking after them from a distance, because I was fond of those two from the moment they were born. However, not long after they turned two year old, someone tried to get to them because they knew about their biological parents.”

She paused, needing to breathe. She was twiddling her thumbs, allowing herself to express her nervousness through this at least since her face and stance were not showing the slightest hint of unease. Jijii knew not to entirely conceal her feelings if she wanted her friends to believe her sincerity. She was doing her best so that it didn’t look like it was a big deal but, really, confiding to them about her kids was one of the decision she had hesitated about for the longest time.

Eliott seemed the quickest to understand, brows furrowing and jaw clenching. “Is that when you left? That day, when the enemies told you something we couldn’t hear?”

“Yes,” Jijii conceded with a nod. “I know I hurt you that day. I know I can’t erase nor change what happened, but as you already know, I wouldn’t even if I actually could. The day I left is the day I adopted those kids and swore to them and myself that I would protect them until the end of days, no matter the cost.”

She looked up at them, resolution shining in her eyes despite the green lenses covering them. It didn’t seem to be enough for Yoann, who leant closer to her over the bar and snarled, almost screaming − his tone made her shiver in repressed fear.

“You still could have told us! We would have understood and you knew − _know_ − that!”

“That’s not what it was about, Yoann.” she bit back coldly, refusing to lower her eyes. “Those kids were attacked because _one_ person knew about them. The more people knew, the more they were in danger. And I would never risk putting them in danger, even if it means you’re going to hate me. The day you have children on your own, you will get that.”

Jijii took a quick step back and turned her back to them, biting the inside of her cheeks to keep her sadness tucked deep inside, refusing to let it taint her voice or expression. The past three years, she had learnt to conceal her thoughts behind the thickest mask she had ever worn. Jijii had been on her own. She couldn’t possibly trust anyone – and when she had trusted people, they had been quick to remind her that it was a terrible decision, truly.

She mechanically filled two bottles with milk and put them in the microwave before making coffee for everyone − she hoped her friends’ tastes hadn’t changed, because she was going to make them the same kind of coffees they liked three years ago.

Jijii took in a long, deep breath, and focused on the faint footsteps coming from the other side of the penthouse. A small, real smile stretched up her lips. Her kids tended to have that effect on her.

“Mamma!” two voices giggled happily, running to her side and bouncing on their feet. The kids were definitely up now and filled to the brim with raw energy.

Jijii started laughing at that, squatting down to lift them both up in her arms. She spun around and they embraced her tighter, grasping her shirt to steady themselves against her, legs wrapped around her hips and their laugh echoing hers.

“Slept well, sweethearts?”

“Yes!” the little girl beamed, throwing up the fist that was holding onto her white wolf stuffed animal. “I had fun dreams!”

“Fun dreams too,” the little boy nodded, nuzzling his nose against his mom’s neck.

Jijii giggled and ignored her friends’ surprised reaction all the way, too happy in her little bubble of fluffiness with her kids. “I’m glad you did, then. Looks like you needed your afternoon nap to feel all better.” She kissed both her foreheads and whispered. “Okay buddies, today is _the_ day. You’re going to meet the amazing people I told you about. It’s okay to be shy, but I want you to at least say hello properly, okay?”

The children exchanged a curious glance and nodded, impatience making them twitchy. Jijii walked out of the kitchen to go to the other side of the bar, where her friends were still sitting, gobsmacked. Again, she had to remind herself not to laugh at their faces − thought she couldn’t pinpoint why exactly they seemed so shocked. Was something wrong with the way she acted with her children?

She let the kids down and lovingly ruffled their wild ashy-blond hair. She noticed a few caramel locks among it and blinked at that; when had her babies grown so fast that their hair was starting to darken? She slapped herself mentally and focused on the moment.

“Guys, I would like you to officially meet my children: Rikuto and Kaya Kees.” Jijii announced, not hiding the pride in her voice.

The four adults mumbled incoherent greetings and she glared at them properly, almost pouting. She stared at Eliott until he took the hint and stepped forward, leaning toward the kids − he was still a giant after all, which must have been quite intimidating for the toddlers. Eliott tried to smile a little, running a hand through his light brown hair, his golden eyes stilling on Rikuto, then on Kaya, for a few seconds.

Jijii smirked and, seeing her friend still had the emotional quotient of a rock, spoke first: “Kids, this is Eliott Scognamiglio. I think you’ve heard enough ‘bout him to know you have nothing to fear; he’s family. C’mon, say hi to your uncle.”

“Hi, tío Eliott!” Kaya greeted with energy, holding her white wolf plush tight against her chest with both arms, wide grin spread on her round face.

“Hello, zio Eliott.” Rikuto said more timidly, his gray eyes scanning Eliott in a way that made the adult almost uneasy.

A few seconds passed, Kaya looking at her brother with impatience and poking his sides until he pouted and told her off, glancing once more at Eliott and narrowing his eyes. Jijii bit back her smile, knowing all too well not to interrupt the moment. Eventually, Rikuto unwound a little and loosened his grip on his black wolf plush, whispering with a dry nod.

“He good.”

Kaya beamed at that and hugged her brother with a laugh. Jijii’s smirk grew bigger. Her daughter was an actual walking sunshine, always radiating warmth and love and energy. Her son was much more silent and observant but in spite of the image he gave off, he was in fact just as filled with love and energy. The twins were a complementary pair and, if left unsupervised, that called for disasters.

Jijii shook her head and gently caressed their hair, waiting for Yoann to step forth this time. The tall dark brown haired man gulped and crouched down to be on eye-level with the twins, offering them a smile Jijii knew she could never get again.

That stung.

“Hello, Rikuto, Kaya. I’m Yoann Seren, and I’m glad I’m meeting you today. I’m also Eliott’s lover and an old friend of your mom,” he said, calm and kindness shining in his brown eyes.

He waited some more for an answer, seeing that the kids weren’t as opened with him as they had been with Eliott. Jijii tensed a little, focusing her thoughts on her breathing so that the others wouldn’t notice the stress that was building up in her mind.

Nevertheless, her children didn’t need to see her to take a decision − their minds were already made up and they answered as one:

“No. No hello for you.”

Jijii blinked in confusion as her kids hid their faces against her legs, arms tightly wrapped around her. She felt something akin to hurt dwell inside her and she barely had enough courage to look up at her friend, knowing Yoann was certainly feeling even worse than her.

She frowned and played softly with the twins’ hair. “Sweeties, why no hello for your uncle Yoann? He is a friend too. He is family. Why are you so mad at him?”

Their grip tightened.

“He yelled. Earlier.”

Rikuto’s whisper left her speechless. Mouth hanging open, she blinked once, twice, and frowned again. “Did you do the thing I especially told you not to do? _Again?_ ”

The four adults frowned at her in incomprehension − the children had been in their bedroom when that discussion had taken place, so how−

“We were curious. I’m sorry Mamma…”

“Sorry Mamma, please don’t be mad…”

Jijii closed her eyes and just… breathed. All she could think about was how they were hugging her with more strength than they hugged their stuffed animals. She lowered herself to their level and took them in her arms, resting her head on theirs. She slowly allowed them to feel her relax against them, tension leaving her shoulders.

“It’s okay, I’m not mad. I know you were just curious and worried for me. But you still need to say hello to your uncle Yoann, he’s an important part of our family and you know it. Sometimes grown-ups yell at each other, even if it’s no way to solve a conflict. I’m sorry if we scared you.”

The twins kept silent for a while, until they finally left their mother’s arms to turn around and stumble toward Yoann, their eyes going back and forth between the floor and him.

“Sorry tío Yoann…” Kaya gulped shyly, playing with the hem of her pajamas. “And hello.”

“Sorry zio Yoann…” Rikuto repeated, shifting from one foot to the other before pausing and staring at him with all the might a four year old could gather. “You can’t yell again at Mamma.”

“Riku…” Jijii warned, raising an eyebrow at him.

He stilled and pouted.

“It’s, uh,” Yoann muttered, blinking a few times and getting back up by pushing on his knees. His smile wasn’t as warm as it had been a few minutes ago, however, he didn’t look as hurt. “It’s okay. You’re forgiven, kids! I get it wasn’t the best meeting and I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“Okay sweeties, now say hello to Arawn, they’re also a friend and family.” their mother told them with narrowed eyes, making sure that the small incident wouldn’t be repeated.

And still, both kids made a face when Arawn walked up to them to greet them. They glanced at their mom in a _do we really have to?_ -way and she answered back with a glare only moms could master this perfectly, arms folded over her chest. The other adults were at a loss − what was it with those kids and their capacity to detect if they liked someone with a look only?

Maybe they could feel that Arawn was an only child who had never been at ease with kids.

Or maybe they could just sense that he was a _major dick™._

… Not that their mom could ever say that out loud in front of them, though.

“What’s wrong?” Jijii asked the kids when she noticed they still weren’t saying anything.

“What are we supposed to call them, if not _tìo_ or _tìa_? Arawn is a _they_ , not a _him_ or a _her_. So we can’t call ‘em ‘uncle’ like Eliott or Yoann or Tonton…” Kaya asked innocently.

Apart from Jijii, all of the adults flinched again − who the Hell was Tonton?

“You can just call me Arawn, it’s fine by me,” Arawn intervened with a nervous smile, looking at the kids stiffly. “It’s already cool enough that you’re using the good pronouns, most adults won’t even do that much. So, y’know… just call me Arawn.”

Kaya and Riku looked at their mom until she nodded, and they shyly turned back to the other adult. Arawn clearly seemed in distress, as much as Yoann had been; they were experiencing what it was like to have those children look at you as if they were reading the depths of your soul.

“Hello, Arawn.” they both greeted calmly, never leaving their mom’s side.

“Uh, hey,” Arawn hesitated, waving a hand as they stepped backward, hiding by their boyfriend’s side to recharge − that was too much kid-contact for them already.

Léo smirked and mouthed _‘loser’_ to them, playfully nudging his lover. Jijii knew that confident look − Léo had always been quite popular with children, even if he was the youngest child in his family. The black haired man had a personality that made him easy to approach and befriend, and children had always been fond of him.

 _Ah−_ but Jijii’s children weren’t any children.

When he greeted them happily, they reiterated their pouty glare and Kaya even made a disgraceful face. Jijii hid her snarl behind a loud sigh − Léo’s offended face was quite the sight − and put her hands on her hips.

“What is it this time?”

Both kids shook their head. Jijii asked again but they refused to tell her until she allowed them to whisper it in her ear so that the others couldn’t hear. A deep frown formed on Jijii’s face, her green eyes widening a little.

“ _Oh,_ ”

She blinked and hugged them before exchanging a glance with Léo. She resolutely shook her head, refusing to betray her kids’ trust, letting him know she wouldn’t say a thing no matter how lost he looked. Jijii knew what it was like to trust your family with your secrets − what it was like when they betrayed you and never managed to get that trust back again… She refused to be this kind of parent. She would always trust her children and prove them they could trust her back and tell her everything.

Anyway, she made sure that the kids actually greeted Léo.

She knew it was mean but part of her might have enjoyed a little bit that her kids were so sensitive of other people’s emotions, particularly toward her, since they reacted in such a naive, lovable way. She truly wasn’t used to being protected this way – not because she was useful, but because she mattered for them. The twins were not old enough to understand the subtlety of what was going on between their mom and her friends, but they sure had understood the hostility that radiated from some of the adults.

“Hello, tío Léo.” Kaya mumbled, her gray eyes sending daggers at him and making him gulp.

“Hello, zio Léo.” Rikuto said on the same tone, cheeks puffed to amplify his pout.

“… H-Hi kids, nice to meet you too.” Léo croaked, tugging on the collar of his jacket, face livid. He quickly sneaked back to his lover’s side, who was already making fun of him and annoying him about how _‘lovable’_ he indeed was.

Jijii cleared her throat, hints of embarrassment visible on her face. God she hoped her friends weren’t paying her too much attention.

“Sweeties, now that everyone’s said hello, how ‘bout you watch TV a little? I need to talk with your uncles and Arawn.” Riku opened his mouth with a frown but Jijii smiled at him and whispered: “I was making hot cocoa before you got there.”

That seemed to shut the kid up and put bright stars into his gray eyes, his sister beaming the very same way by his side. Both children nodded and toddled to the sofa, further away in the living room. The twins leant on each other on the couch, thumb in mouth and their respective stuffed toys held tightly against them. They looked up at their mother when she stepped near and grabbed the remote, running her free hand in their hair as she searched for an appropriate cartoon for four year old.

When she went back to the kitchen, her friends were back to sitting on the stools before the bar, their back turned to the kids. She offered them the coffee she had been brewing earlier, and then added cocoa to the milk bottles she had been preparing for her children. She quickly went to give the twins their bottles and came back in the kitchen, serving herself a cup of coffee.

“This day is getting weirder and weirder,” Arawn muttered, face half-hidden by their cup, lazily resting their arms over the counter-top.

“Tell me about it, I sure wasn’t expecting my kids to give y’all the judging-stare,” Jijii laughed, surprising the other adults. A pause. “Well, I kinda did expect it. Just… not so soon. Sorry ‘bout that by the way.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to have children, like, ever.” Yoann added with a bitter smile, holding his steaming cup but not drinking any of it. Jijii steadied herself (mentally counting in Italian always helped her focus) because she certainly wasn’t going to break down her facade and bite right back at her friend, not when her children could hear their fight. “I remember you saying you would never have children…”

“I remember people being able to adapt and change, Yoann. Not everything one said or did in the past seals the way one will behave or the decisions one will take once the future becomes present. I still don’t think I make a good mother, but now that I am, I’m giving it my everything.”

She kept her smiling mask on as Yoann stared her down. Jijii knew how stubborn he could be, how he wouldn’t give up his sneaky, snarky attacks until he felt satisfied, how he wouldn’t forgive her no matter what she said or did. He wasn’t emotionally ready to forgive her and that was understandable. However, Jijii had anticipated how he would react the day she had left and had had years to brace herself for it. They were best friends – _or at least, used to be, she wasn’t sure how that worked nowadays_ – and best friends knew how and when to let the other use them to let off some steam. She just hoped it would work for the best and that it wouldn’t slowly make her crumble under the weight of guilt and blame.

“Are Rikuto and Kaya always so… distrustful?” Eliott intervened before any of the two could start another argument.

“Children usually love me!” Léo complained in a whisper, almost pouting and making Arawn chuckle. “They looked at me for just a second and it was as if I had stolen their favorite lollipop!”

“We are not used to… having this many people around us.” Jijii admitted, biting on her lips and lowering her gaze.

“We’re, like, four persons? You used to lead full crowds of agents and now you and your kids feel bad because there are four people in your living room?” Léo asked scornfully, raising his hands in incomprehension.

“Look,” she sighed, nervously running her fingertips over the rim of her mug. “Those past three years have been radically different from how I lived the rest of my life. I had to move often, couldn’t trust anyone because if I did–”

She stopped and closed her eyes, fighting an inner struggle.

No. Not that. No, _that,_ she couldn’t talk about yet.

“The kids take that distrustfulness from me. They were kidnapped when they were barely two year old and have seen that my work involves me getting hurt more often than not. I’m their only family. I’m their _mother_. So I think that, in a way, what matters most to them is how you interact with me rather than with them. That sounds weird and conceited, I sure know it, but… But I guess that this is how it goes when you’re a single mom. Your kids are your first priority; and you become theirs, because you’re the only parental figure they know.”

She glanced at the windows on her left and let her gaze follow horizon line behind the many buildings of NYC. Jijii took one deep breath and her voice was steady again, her green stare falling back on them.

“I’m sorry if their behavior offended you… However, remember that they’re four year old. Soon they’ll be five, sure – doesn’t mean they won’t still be toddlers and have childish reactions.”

She was standing in the kitchen, mug in hands and a step away from the bar. While they were thinking her words over, she couldn’t help but analyze her own behavior. Knowing yourself was still one of the most important things she ought to know in this world. Jijii knew she was sending mixed messages – asking to be a family, to be friends again, while she stood on a separate side. They were all sitting before her but the bar separated them, drawing a physical line between their side and hers. Nonetheless, she couldn’t help but draw that thin line and hide behind it. After this many years fighting the world alone, she couldn’t just give up on her defensive demeanor

 _Baby steps,_ she reminded herself. _Baby steps will become adult steps but you’re twenty-four and still can’t adult properly so stick to the damn baby steps._

“Uh, hey Ji, it’s gotten nothing to do with that whole talk but…” Arawn spoke up hesitantly, silver eyes searching for each and every tiny detail in the kitchen behind her. “Why the hell do you have four buildings for?” That got a scoff out of her and Arawn seemed to struggle even more, eyebrows going up and down repeatedly – which just confused Jijii so much that an actual giggle escaped her lips. “I mean, you live with two kids and I know children are supposed to be, like, hyperactive little monsters – _reminds me of raptors if you ask me_ – so I understand why the big private garden. But what the hell is hidden here apart from this floor you’re living in?” And now, they were rambling and couldn’t stop. Jijii was trying to muffle her giggle with a hand but so far, so obvious. “Like, without the Eterna it must be empty and full of mothballs – _I hate mothballs, disgusting,_ dust-from-butterfly-wings _kind of disgusting, bleh_ (they made a face)– and, oh please God, tell me there aren’t any rats or cockroaches in here.” They gasped dramatically. “And, still, if you have some sort of mothball fields you’re cultivating on others floors, what is going on in the other build– Oh for fuck’s sake Jijii _stop laughing!!_ ”

However, that wasn’t something she could stop so easily. She had almost dropped her mug on the bar, leaning on its counter-top with a hand, the other wrapped around her waist. She laughed and laughed and laughed – so much so that Eliott snickered and hid his face behind a hand, smirk apparent on his face.

And when his and Jijii’s eyes met, all Hell broke loose.

They burst into unstoppable laughter, which caused Eliott to fall from his stool and hug his waist painfully – which led to Jijii laughing twice as much, uncontrollably.

Arawn was looking at them, mouth agape and eyebrows bent at a curious angle, their head tilted on the left. Yoann’s expression was a mix of surprise and terror – he clearly wasn’t understanding what the hell was going on with Jijii and Eliott. Léo seemed to have been struck by lightning, confusion stretching his traits in a weird grimace.

Their laugh only started to die off when the twins stumbled in the kitchen, adorably wrapping their tiny arms around their mom’s legs. Jijii offered them a bright smile and ruffled their hair lovingly. Eliott’s head appeared from behind the bar (Jijii snorted at that − he looked _so_ ridiculous), curious as to why his best friend had stopped laughing.

“Why you’re laughing, Mamma?” Kaya asked chirpily, resting her chin above her mom’s knee and tilting her head back.

“Because Arawn’s rambling was notorious for the amount of stupid things they could say per second, and ‘looks like it hasn’t changed!” her mom managed to say before another laugh bubbled its way up her throat, her eyes shining and twinkling in a way Eliott had missed.

“Arawn was always a mess… that’s how them and your mom became such close friends. _Qui se ressemble s’assemble!_ ” Eliott guffawed from behind the bar, disappearing again to laugh to his heart’s content.

The twins shot their mom a curious glare, confusion written all over their juvenile faces. Jijii smiled and explained. “‘Great minds think alike’?”

“Wait, don’t your kids speak French?” Léo wondered, pointing a finger at them then at their mother.

The kids stared at him as if to burn a hole through him, answering as one.

“ _Si! On parle français! … un peu._ ” A pout appeared on their face and they lowered their gray eyes as they hugged their mom tighter.

Their adorableness would be the death of Jijii one day.

“Léo, did you speak French perfectly when you were four? Probably _not_ . So leave my sweethearts alone, _bruto gnocco_.” she smirked at him confidently.

Rikuto raised his head with a smile, murmuring: “‘ _Bruto gnocco’… questo lo conosco._ ”

“How many languages do you speak exactly?” Yoann asked the kids, leaning over the bar curiously. The twins exchanged a glance − Jijii smiled at that, they could convey so much without using a single word.

“We know words in French,” Kaya started, looking up at her uncle.

“English,” Rikuto went on, mirroring her.

“Spanish,” she nodded.

“Italian.” he said proudly.

“And Tonton is trying to teach you the basics in Russian, right?” Jijii chuckled, a warm smile spread on her face.

“да!” Kaya giggled happily, turning back to her.

Léo watched them, gobsmacked. “Why… How is it possible that… they’re learning so many languages?”

“It wasn’t planned,” Jijii shrugged and kissed her children’s foreheads − the adults tensed again at that. What was their problem with her showing affection? “We just couldn’t stay in the same place for long, so we traveled, mostly in countries I had often been in. Easier to find a job.” Another shrug. “They just… picked up on some words here and there.”

Eliott finally got back up on his feet and stared at Jijii, glancing at the twins before claiming:

“Your kids are sponges.” Jijii almost guffawed at that, a hand plastered on her mouth to keep quiet. “Honest to god sponges that absorbs any kind of language they get in contact with.” He shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you’re the mom of two stupidly small sponges.”

“I’m the mom of this world’s two cutest sponges!” Jijii beamed as she hugged the giggling children, flashing her best friend her biggest grin − the kind that made her eyes sparkle with life.

“I swear− _I will never understand what the hell is going on in your broken minds!_ How did you go from my ranting to Rikuto and Kaya being sponges? Never mind: how did you even make a link between them and sponges?” Arawn grumbled at Eliott and Jijii, hands sprawled over their face.

“Not only are you two a mystery, but you didn’t even answer their question,” Yoann noted, arms crossed over the bar and an eyebrow raised. He gave his boyfriend an unimpressed look but Jijii could see the small curve at the corner of his lips − he probably hadn’t heard Eliott laugh this way in a very long time.

“What question?” Riku asked seriously, gray eyes scanning his mom’s face.

“They’re curious ‘bout the buildings whereabouts and what I’m hiding there,” Jijii answered with a small sigh, rolling her eyes. “Arawn thinks we have some sort of mothball fields in here…”

“Disgusting,” Kaya genuinely spat, making a face.

“I _know_ , right?” Arawn deadpanned.

“Can’t we have dinosaurs instead of mothballs?” Rikuto asked, with the innocence only children had.

“If Riku’s gettin’ a dino, I want one too!” Kaya quickly gasped, looking at her mother expectantly.

“No one’s getting a dino!” Jijii claimed seriously before pausing.

She glanced at Eliott.

"Unless..."

A knowing smile curved her lips.

“No. No, I’m _not_ using my Tenkei to go back in time and bring you back dinosaurs.” he sighed loudly, shaking both his head and a very expressive index. Jijii’s stare didn’t falter − and neither did the twins’. Eliott grimaced openly and the idea of hiding behind the bar crossed his mind. “Stop it. Don’t look at me this way. Your puppy eyes won’t work on me− _No._ Jijii. _Don’t_ bat your eyelashes like that it doesn’t work on me anymore and you know it! Just give it up and take us on a tour around the buildings.”

“Fiiiiine!” she relented, spinning on her feet with her children still wrapped around her legs, making her struggle to walk out of the kitchen. The bubbly sound of their laugh was so worth it, though.

Before reaching the elevator, Jijii heard the flat-tone whispers of Léo, who was resting heavily against his lover.

_“Remind me why we thought it ever was wise to follow her anywhere?”_

 

* * *

 

They spent the rest of the afternoon exploring the buildings. It shouldn’t have taken this much time, but the twins were excited to show their uncles and Arawn all the details their mother had thought of as she had helped with the renovation of the place.

“And there− And there− And there−” Kaya rushed, toddling over a big double door in the main building as she clang firmly on her new favorite uncle, her fist closed over his little finger.

“And what’s there?” Jijii repeated with a fond smile while nudging Eliott playfully, knowing her children were already growing on him.

“And there! It’s the gym! And you can run and punch things and lift heavy stuffs!” Kaya claimed as she bounced on her feet − quite literally, since she was jumping where she stood with a huge grin plastered on her face, her long blond hair falling on her shoulders. Her hyperactive, over-happy behavior even managed to get a smile out of Eliott, who would very certainly deny it later on.

“Mm-mmh,” Eliott nodded, his golden eyes focused on the little girl. “You seem to like this place a lot.”

“ _Sí!_ ” she confirmed happily, hugging his leg with a laugh.

“Zio,” Riku firmly grabbed Eliott’s other hand and started dragging him in another direction, Kaya following behind the two of them like an adorable baby duck.

Jijii answered Eliott’s panicked glance with a thumb up and a bright grin. The adult groaned at that but went along his nephew’s plan nonetheless.

 

\---

 

“Woh, I’m almost jealous,” Arawn chuckled, an arm wrapped around their boyfriend’s shoulders. “It’s like the twins adopted Eliott. ‘Love at first sight’ or this kinda crap.”

“Why the fuck is−”

Jijii suddenly elbowed Léo in the stomach with a glare.

“No. Swearing.”

“But you swear more than a fuckin−”

Her elbow met his floating ribs again.

He moaned pitifully. She smiled pridefully.

“Jijii, could you please stop hitting on my boyfriend?” Arawn joked, knowing that Léo was being his usual drama-self − she hadn’t hit him that hard.

_God how she had missed her and Arawn’s banter._

“Don’t wanna be a home-wrecker now, do we?” she answered with a playful pout, shaking her head. Next to them, Yoann opened his mouth to comment about that. However, Jijii didn’t give him enough time to ruin the mood − plus, she could perfectly do so herself, thank you. “But seriously: if you swear if front of my children, you put a _dollar_ in the dang’ swearing jar. That’s one of the House Rules.”

She shrugged and skipped off to her children’s side, softly grasping Kaya’s hand and listening to their babbling.

 

\---

 

“Lab!” Rikuto announced, a serious frown drawing his eyebrows together on his forehead. “Things go boom. Not allowed without Mamma. Or big glasses. And lab goat.”

“ _Coat_ , sweetheart, not goat,” Jijii whispered carefully, biting down on her lips to keep the size of her smile reasonable.

Mission failed: Rikuto’s adorable, though confused, nod made her lips stretch enough for her smile to reach her eyes.

“Why is there a laboratory here? That seems oddly… specific?” Yoann wondered as he observed the glass doors, a finger tapping against his jaw. “Does it take up the whole floor?”

“Kinda. Here’s mostly for engineering experiments,” Jijii explained with a tight smile. With a knock of her knuckles on the wall behind her, the glass turned pitch black. Another knock and it gave the illusion of being made of wood this time. “There’s a build-in reconnaissance system that can let other people know with a glance if the labs are accessible at the moment or not, according to the will of the person working inside.”

“Tonton prefers the wood walls!” Kaya chirped cheerfully, raising her hand.

“Mamma prefers the black ones.” Rikuto confirmed, nodding seriously once again.

“Wait, I thought you sucke−” Léo froze for a second, eyes widening like a deer facing a truck at night. He coughed and started over. “I thought you were terrible at science. All kinds of science. You particularly hate math. What would _you_ be in the labs for?”

“There’s been a few times where I needed to test a few theories with the help of, well, Tonton.” She smirked at that, which only surprised more the adults next to her. “And it’s not like I can actually count on laboratories outside to keep those researches a secret. We all know that traitors are everywhere, and the Agence Eterna has been infiltrated enough as it is. I’m not taking anymore risks.”

“So…” Eliott stumbled on his words, rocking back and forth on the heels of his feet. “Now, you also do science? That’s… quite the surprise.”

“I’ve always been a curious person, y’all know that.” Jijii concluded, raising an eyebrow and wearing one of her best fake smiles − the kind not even Eliott could see through.

A lot had changed in three years.

A lot had been learnt, in three years.

And yet, a lot remained answerless.

 

\---

 

“Cinema room! Cinema room!” the twins beamed, running around to go and jump on the soft cushions of the biggest sofa of the room.

“So, yeah, I’m not sure you’ve exactly understood what this room is for,” Jijii chuckled lightly, spinning on her feet and showing off the huge room.

There were so many couches and love-seats and bean bags scattered around that the adults wondered for a second just how many people could fit in here. All seats were facing a big, blank wall, and Yoann noticed the discreet projector embed in the ceiling. Léo, though, noticed right away the kitchenette set up in one of the corners, empty bags of popcorn abandoned on the counter-top.

“Just in case the twins’ screams weren’t enough: this is the cinema room.”

“Cinema room! Cinema room!” the twins yelled once again.

They guffawed candidly as they bounced on the squashiest couch. Jijii rolled her eyes at that, a hand resting lazily on her right hip.

“I think that this is the most lived-in room you’ve showed us so far, penthouse left aside.” Yoann smartly uttered.

Jijii almost smiled at him and answered calmly, keeping for herself the uneasiness she spotted as he spoke − he still did that thing where he played with the hem of his jeans’ pocket, worrying it between his fingertips.

“With only the three of us in the buildings, it feels quite empty. We tend to keep to the penthouse, so that it feels more like… home.”

She accompanied her answer with a short nod, her green eyes scanning the details of the room. The soft cushions stained with hot cocoa. The pencils and half-finished drawings still laying here and there on the floor. The puddle of warm blankets on the armchair of the biggest couch.

Her stare fell on the twins and all of the adults remarked how it almost instantly warmed up.

“Plus, what do we do on Friday nights, sweeties?”

“Movie and pizza night!” Riku squealed, straightening up so fast he rolled off the couch, cheeks pink. His sister followed right after him and both of them burst into laughter, giggling as they rolled gleefully on the carpeted floor.

Jijii shook her head with a sigh and only shrugged when her friends sent her questioning glances.

“You have movie and pizza night?” Eliott scoffed, unsure of what to do with this new piece of information.

“Every Friday night. It’s one of the House Rules.”

“House Rules? You mean− Like the no-swearing-or-you-put-a-dollar-in-the-jar rule?” Léo asked, incredulous.

“Oh my! Would you look at that, he has a brain!” Jijii teased, nudging Eliott with her shoulder while she gave Léo a once over.

“Screw you, Jijii” he pouted, a blush creeping up on his face.

“Me? Why?” she simpered, pressing a hand over her heart. “I’m just so proud to see that you’re almost as good at drawing conclusion as my babies!”

“We smart!” Kaya added knowingly − Riku nodded at that, trying to prove his mother’s and sister’s point even though he clearly looked like he had no idea what was going on.

The playful banter went on, Eliott and Jijii surprisingly being the ones who laughed the most. Yoann took a few seconds to try and analyze the situation, worrying his lower lip distractedly. His anger hadn’t diminished in the slightest and he was pretty much certain that the same applied to Léo. Nonetheless, he couldn’t deny that the presence of the twins made it all… easier.

None of them would voluntarily expose them to their fights. Those problems were ones the adults had to solve on their own − there was no need for those two kids to suffer from it, to be traumatized so early on in their life by the sight of their sort-of ‘family’ shouting atrocities at each other.

The brunet roughly rubbed the bridge of his nose between his index and his thumb, closing his eyes. He had no idea how things were going to turn out for them − all of them. He probably would never forgive Jijii for leaving and knew for sure he wasn’t going to ever forget about it.

Nevertheless, part of him still hoped for some sort of reconciliation. And that presumably was why he had conceded to come and live in the Second building with Eliott. Staying close enough to allow her to reach for them, and far enough so that the situation wouldn’t escalate too fast and become overwhelming. To have a way out in case everything went south.

One thing he was certain of, however, was that the presence and influence of the twins on all of them was doubtlessly going to offer them the middle ground the adults needed to patch things up.

 _If only I believed in some kind of God − a little praying could do us all some good,_ Yoann thought forlornly, sharp bitterness lingering on his taste buds.

 

\---

 

“I believe you’ve seen everything. Or, well, everything that matters,” Jijii told her friends as they were back in her penthouse.

The twins were still running around, bouncing on their feet with more energy than four year old should be allowed to have. Eliott rubbed his eyes sleepily and yawned − just watching them play _the floor is lava_ was tiring him out.

“I think we’re gonna call it a day,” he muttered slowly, biting back another yawn.

“’Ma! Aren’t tìo Eliott... and tìo Yoann and tìo Léo and Arawn eating with us?” Kaya asked as she jumped off the sofa, hugging his mother’s leg with eyes full of hope.

“Uh, yeah, nah. We ain’t gonna impose on you guys,” Arawn mumbled awkwardly, exchanging a glance with their boyfriend, eyebrows raised high on their forehead and jacket already back on.

“But− But− But−” Kaya stumbled on her words, trying to speak faster than she was actually able to. “Dinner? вместе?”

“Honey,” Jijii whispered tenderly, running a hand in her long, blond hair before lightly tapping her finger on the freckles scattered all over her daughter’s face. “Today was more of a visit. Your uncles and Arawn will probably come back, but it was a long afternoon for everyone. So tonight it’s gonna be just the three of us.”

“ _Mi piace. Solo Kaya e Mamma e io_.” Rikuto butted in, hugging Jijii’s other leg and squeezing tight.

He stared at his mom, his big gray eyes conveying more than he could put into words. It only took Kaya a look at him to understand the silent conversation and eventually approve of it with a nod.

“The three of us it is then.” Jijii chuckled softly and ruffled his soft hair with love, nodding.

She knew that even if the twins had shown they could try and make place for her friends in their life, it was still a lot to take in. Moreover, she wanted to talked about today with the twins and know what they thought of their new possible family. Ask if they too would be happy to have them live in the buildings with them and see them on a daily basis.

The sound of the elevator’s doors opening brought Jijii back to reality and she shook her head, lips tightly shut. The brunette took a long breath in and stomped over to her friends. She almost reached for Léo’s and Arawn’s hands to tug on it, but stopped at the last second.

A flash of painful memory crossed her mind and she mentally waved it off, diving her hands in her shorts’ pockets a little bit too fast.

“Uh, wait− Everyone?” she sputtered, face livid and green eyes gleaming with an anxiety even she couldn’t hide behind a mask. The four adults turned to observe her, silently waiting for her to muster her courage and speak again. “I, uh… I just want to thank you. Again. For today. It was− It was nice to be able to share some of your time again. Really. And, uh−”

Oh no. Now she was rambling. Good God couldn’t she just go straight to the point?

_'Never been your forte to do anything straight, though._

Jijii mentally slapped herself for the intrusive thought − it never happened at the right time.

“I promised the twins we would go and picnic in Central Park in three days. We’ve been here for months and still haven’t been able to properly take some time off, sooo…” She gulped and lowered her gaze just a second before straightening her back and relaxing her shoulders, looking back at them again. “I would be happy, and the twins too, if you were to join us.”

Here. She had said it. And now they were staring at her like she had announced that Pluto was a planet again.

 _No, wait, never mind − they would have looked happier than that if Pluto was a planet again._ Jijii internally swore at herself, doing her best to ignore the knot in her stomach.  Each passing second was growing longer than the precedent and she was certain that she was forgetting how to breath altogether.

“We’d be happy too,”

Her eyes shot up and her heart missed a beat, her cheeks taking a barely perceivable shade of pink when she heard the low rumble of Arawn’s voice answer her. She really didn’t want to hope too much. Hope was a dangerous thing. Hope could make you believe even the falsest things. Hope led you to the most ominous paths there were.

But how could she not hope at least a little when Arawn was smirking at her like they were seventeen again?

“See you on Tuesday, Jijii.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
>  **Tío (spanish)/Zio (italian)** : Uncle  
>  **Tìa** : Aunt  
>  **Si! On parle français! … un peu.** : Yes! We speak French! ... a little bit.  
>  **Bruto gnocco** : somehow, it kind of means "stupid gnocco" (yes, gnocchi is the plural form of a gnocco), it doesn't translate literally  
>  **Questo lo conosco.** : This one I know.  
>  **да!** : Yes!  
>  **вместе?** : Together?  
>  **Mi piace. Solo Kaya e Mamma e io.** : I like it. Just Kaya and Mamma and me.
> 
> I swear this sweet domesticity has to count as fluff. It was way too fun to write Jijii/Eliott's friendship again.  
> What did you think of the twins?  
> And of that unexpected ending? ;)


End file.
